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So many ways, but the one that cuts deepest is my loss of voice on every level. Learning to hate the sound of my own tones to the point I could no longer make them. Then words left me. I abandoned writing, singing, even speaking, once for an entire year. I turned to dance and fiber arts as self expression and they carried my soul until I was safe enough to write again in my 30s. I wrote but still could not share my words, that would take longer. Now finally, oh glory at last, I reclaim my full singing voice, all 3 octaves, after denying myself so much free joy through decades of existence to make myself palatable to patriarchy.

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