Fueled By Tragedy: Final Chapter

PEAKS AND VALLEYS

Written by: Kerry Carter

You don't always know the journey that you are being led down, but I find that God puts us right where we need to be. My path has not been straight, but they rarely are. I have learned, grown, and adjusted my decision-making process at each junction because of my experiences. 

A collision is defined as a short-duration interaction between two or more bodies simultaneously causing a change in motion of bodies involved due to internal forces acting between them.

As I reflect on things, the collision with Curtis certainly changed the path for both of our lives. Although the moment itself was short, the effects have reverberated across mine and many other lives since that day. I have reflected on this over time and better understand how it has affected me and influenced my journey. The play itself will remain ingrained in my mind, but his death's finality created the most significant shift in my mentality. 

On the field, I have more questions than answers. How did that incident affect the way I played the game? Can I look back at game film and see any noticeable difference in how I attacked each play? Was I less aggressive, more aggressive? Or was it more profound than that? 

Did I allow feelings of doubt and indecision to influence the game's instinctual aspect negatively? Did it take away the spark that gave me the confidence to operate at my best every time I stepped on that field? These answers may always elude me, but I don't want to give the impression that I lived with this torment actively throughout my career. 

These were not questions that I contemplated much during my playing career, but with time comes introspection. The game of football has given me so much, and for that, I am forever grateful. I have been able to earn a living playing a game and entertain millions. I have built real bonds and genuine friendships that will last a lifetime. Football has given me a platform to build a life, provide for my family, and make my mother proud. Still, I fear that what was asked for in return was more than I could provide. 

That regret is my burden.

There is one way to play the game of football; full speed. The mental aspect is how you best prepare and allows you to react without thinking, making it genuinely instinctual. I have felt connected to this mentality and have been able to access it at will. I have focused and honed it from a young age through years of training, practices, and competitions. This unique skill has allowed me to have success as I competed through the years. 

Still, the most significant difference I found in the years following the collision is my ability to connect with this instinctive trait consistently. There have been flashes throughout my professional career, but I found that I could not sustain it for more than what amounts to a few games per season over nine years. I am disappointed because I did not accomplish the vision I had for my career. I feel like I underachieved. 

When competing at a level where everyone is just as physically gifted, your mentality and the ability to focus and deliver consistent results matter most. The hard work and sacrifices that it took to accomplish this have shaped me considerably. My experience on the field has given me a blueprint for success off the field. As I transitioned out of football, my mission was to take what I learned and find the proper outlet to apply it. 

Read chapter 2 of Fueled By Tragedy

If I was going to invest my time and energy into something, it had to provide me with a similar combination of purpose, challenge, and satisfaction football provided.        

In 2012, when I officially retired, I had already begun preparations for life after football. I used the time over the next few years to learn more about the business world and how the skills I acquired could be a good fit and add value in the right situation. Don't get me wrong, I loved being an entrepreneur and was in no way searching for a dream job. Still, I am a big believer in fate, and sometimes, if you bring your awareness to it, you can see how the universe conspires to help you find what you truly desire.   

In the early summer of 2016, my friend Jamie invited me to an investor showcase for Atavus, the company where he did PR. We had talked about this company sporadically over the years since we met. Initially, it was a Rugby company that wanted to champion the game and bring it to youth across the country by conducting camps and clinics. However, in the previous year, they jumped into the football market after the Seattle Seahawks consulted with their Olympic-level coaches on different rugby tackling techniques. 

The Seahawks had the NFL's top-ranked defense, and they were coming off record-setting seasons on defense and were the Superbowl Champions in 2014. Their newly termed approach, the "Hawk Tackle," represented a shift in the thought process at the time that you could tackle safer and be more effective. Atavus built their entire premise on the fact that the two did not need to be mutually exclusive. If rugby players, who made more tackles on average per game without wearing equipment, could have lower overall injury rates, football could apply something similar. 

The overall climate around the game was temperamental, as well, as former players were suing the NFL for hiding what it knew about concussions and the long-term neurological dangers of playing the game. Additionally, multiple former players tragically took their own lives, including Junior Seau, who went so far as to shoot himself in the chest so that his brain could be used for studies around CTE. On the youth and high school level, participation numbers significantly decreased as parents feared their children would get a concussion.  

As I watched the pitch, I thought about my experience over the years. Even though I was on offense, once I made it to the pros, I would play on special teams, which meant I also had to tackle. I kept up with the rule changes and the improvements in technology around the game with wearable devices and advanced helmets to help reduce concussions. Still, this was the first time I heard the approach of using a different technique when tackling. 

I was more than a little intrigued. 

The investor event was on a Friday, and according to my wife, I spent most of that weekend talking about how impressed and inspired I was learning about the work that Atavus was doing. My wife and I had our second daughter a few months prior, and I was at a point with my business where burnout was beginning to set in. 

My head and heart were no longer in alignment. By Monday, I felt moved enough to reach out to Jamie and ask him to set up a meeting with the CEO. I didn't know how exactly, but I knew that I wanted to be a part of what this company was doing. I learned that they were in the process of launching a digital learning platform for coaches that would focus on adapting rugby style techniques to tackle football training. 

I knew I could add value, and although there was no traditional job opening at that time, I felt they sensed that I could be an asset as well. 

I wasn't looking for a job. I wanted something much more than that. I wanted a calling. On June 13th, 2016, I started my first day with Atavus Rugby and Football. Officially, my role was in business development, but I treated the business like it was my own from the outset. I took the entrepreneurial approach and committed to doing everything within my power to advance the mission to teach safer and more effective tackling. 

I felt more than prepared to take on the challenges of this role, but I would first need to familiarize myself with the philosophy and methodology. Atavus created a system for enhanced tackling performance and improved safety, specifically reducing the amount of head contact that occurred when tackling. I knew that I was in the right place, doing work that was purposeful and inspiring to me and had a tremendous benefit to the clients we served.    

I thought back to that moment with Curtis; Now armed with a more thorough understanding of the industry and the products and services available to players, I knew Atavus had something special. No piece of equipment or technology would have made a difference in the collision as I saw it. The only thing that could have potentially changed the outcome would be the technique. 

The challenge would be getting football coaches, who have years of experience and can often be set in their ways, to see the value in changing technique.  

Educating one coach meant that we were reaching about 60-80 players per team. We multiplied our efforts significantly each time we brought on a new group. In 2018 I helped lead our efforts to secure a partnership with the state of Texas, the most prominent coaches association and governing body in the country. 

This partnership meant that over 20,000+ high school and middle school coaches would have to be certified in our tackling system every other year for the foreseeable future. 

I was proud of what we were accomplishing but still felt like it was my mission to continue to grow the company to affect more lives. Over the next few years, I kept my head down and found various ways to advance our mission. I was involved in every aspect of the business, from marketing, product development, operations, and fundraising. This experience was invaluable to me, and it culminated in late 2019 when a venture capital fund acquired the company. I also received an award for being one of the top 40 business executives under 40 in the northwest. One year after the acquisition, I was named Chief Operating Officer and continue to lead the business today.

Football has played a central role in my life since the day I had to take my little brother to practice. From that perspective, my story is not unique. However, the appreciation that I have for the game stems from the opportunity it represents for so many. The game itself teaches beautiful life lessons. The platform allows access to education for many that would otherwise be unable to afford it. Still, even though very few make it to the profession's pinnacle, it has proven to be an excellent foundation for many to build wealth and positively influence their family legacy.    

It may seem counterintuitive that after all I went through dealing with the outcome of that collision, I would become an advocate for tackling. But the way I see it, I know the role football plays as a microcosm of the difficulties that life will throw your way. 

You will fail often, constantly be pushed to your limit both physically and mentally, undergo constant evaluation and the yearly threat of someone younger and cheaper attempting to take your job. You work with a diverse group of people from all backgrounds. You learn complex systems and strategies to attack and defend against your opponent. You are required to prioritize the goals of the team over individual accolades.   

I can genuinely say I have lived a whole life overflowing with so many blessings. Even through the peaks and valleys this journey presents for us, I have learned some great lessons along the way. But one that sticks with me is that life is not about what happens to us, but what we learn and how we react to it that will determine our future.